Jadeo. I hope that practice today goes well, and i hope that we do good. I hope that Debinman doesnt get mad at me. Shit i just hope today goes smooth.

Sometimes when you see someone else doing really good, instead of being pushed to do better and wanting to do better, you kinda just feel like shit and want to kill yourself lol. Go figure ha

Texas is trash.

Texas... Random. New life. Not sure if I'm ready for it. Missing everyone and everything.

July 31st, I fall off the grid. Yep. i'm gone.

blah.

I don't wanna be anywhere, with anyone, doing anything. What is it about me that says "I'm gay." I'm not even remotely gay. Is it because I like dressing nice? What is it? DO i need to wear big ol baggy clothes? Do i need to say "Yo" in between every fucking word? I hate society. Period.

At All.

Floor.

I ask myself:

"Self, what did you do with your life before Facebook and Livejournal?"

No answer has come to me.

I'm the boos and this is what i bless em with...

I'm Me.

Randomly amazing day, i think it was because the previous night was soooooooo shitty. K night.

I dont understand why everyone feels the need to step on me and push and pull me around like i dont fucking matter. COuld someone (anyone) tell me when being a good person became a bad thing? Whats wrong with todays young americans? An even better question is what have our parents been teaching us? When did abusiveness and rudeness become something to strive for?

Why?

Maybe it is me. I think i need a vacation. I need to go somewhere very far away. Somewhere where nobody knows my name. I admit when i'm wrong and i dont rub it in (too badly) when i'm right. I don't steal. I try not to lie because that only leads to more lies. I'm a good listener. I say please and thank you. I hold the door. I go out of my way to help people. Where did my parents go wrong? Why didnt they teach me to be an asshole? Why didn't they...? Oh wait thats because good people don't do shit like that.

I'm in another weird state on this good day. When am i going to learn?

There is someone i would like you to meet.


He's an idiot.

And P.S. - I don't think everything is about me but i figured since you were distancing yourself from me, that i was your distraction. Sorry, I WAS WRONG.

Why?

Let's get this right...

Why can't everyone be as laid back as i see myself? I feel like i'm a pretty laid back person. Why can't everyone be so chill...?

Hmmm....Distraction?

(Smile: That way it doesn't hurt as bad)

So... Okay. I'm not with her at all. (Breanne) but it still hburts to hear about her and one of my close friends. Why would someone do that to me? You have got to hate every inch of me to talk to one of my "close" friends. But whatever. Corey wouldn't even be where he is today if it wasn't for me. I helped him out when he needed it and what did he do to me? Tried to get with my ex-girlfriend. Douche. Some friends i have. I'm seriously contimplating not talking to anyone. Period. Like I think i'll be happiest alone altogether. It doesn't help that all the music i listen to is all about how bad women are and how sneaky they can be. I'm just waiting for my KBaby to come home then i can hold her and tell her how much i've missed her and how much i love her. Til then i'm rarely even gonna open my mouth.

The more you smile the happier you are. Of course im smiling because in 59 days i'll be face to face with a girl that has consumed my thoughts every time i saw a certain cereal commercial! ILY K.H. <3

ily you too!
SMIILE! (that way people wondering what your smiling about)

(clap)
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....DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS!!!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to Texas! YEEHAW! I'm gonna show this country what I'm made of ONE STATE AT A TIME! hahaha lol Well i cant help it! I'm going to go to the great state of texas! Get me an EDUCATION while i cheer for 'em and Then i'm gonna buy some land build me a big ol' house, saddle me up a dame up and keep it funky and fresh with my ladie til i die... Wait i might sell that house and move to a condo in VB (beach kid) when i get older (like 55) but either way i'm gonna have me a finger licking good time. Btws Adam Amick and Lauren (i don't know her last name but she's got nice boobies for a girl that small) made the TVCC squad. I have questionable feelings about this. Not to say that their hearts aren't into it but i just don't feel like this is something they wanted to do. I feel like this was a last resort of sorts... I feel like their just playing follow the leader. If Adam really wanted to go would he purchase a new car right before the summer? And the Lauren chick she just found out she was going to graduate. And what about the no dating on the team rule?!?! She is gonna be all over him while they are there. Lucy isn't gonna like that at all. Thats part of the reason why that really awesome girl that was Cory Bic was dating tried out and didn't make it. Horrible. I feel like everyone that knows me thinks i'm not excited about going to the valley. It's not that i'm not excited i'm just worried that when i go i wont make the cut (mat) or i will get hurt. Thats why it sucked that i put all my eggs in one basket. Cuase i got A LOT of eggs (no homo) and they don't make baskets like they used to, ya feel me? Well goodnight i'll update you all on my feelings some other day byebye :~D

...but you lose some too. Thats what happened. I gained one and lost like 12. Random.

In ten days...

It will be the one month anniversary of me being single. I just thought that i would share that with everyone because it feels good not to be tied down, don't get me wrong there's no way that anyone could take my heart away from "SPECIAL K" but because we are not officially together and she's like 2000 miles away. I'm not tied down. So yeah that calls for some type of celebration... I think i'll have my party at matt's (like always) lol

:~D